I Let Him Slip Away
By Almog Azoulay
Rain drops fall from the sky, like shimmering drops of silver, from the black clouds, from above. Wind howling like wolves at midnight. Lightning strikes as a flash, and the cold weather freezes me to my bones. I lie here, still as a statue, waiting for something to happen, someone to appear. I still remember the warmth. I still remember the happiness. I still remember the smiles, which have turned to torture, sadness, and days of crying over something that seems so sweet, yet so terrible. I remember when the sun used to shine on us, and the warmth of my heart was like nothing I have ever experienced before. As thoughts run through my head, thunder booms outside. My heart races with fear, as the door cracked open, and he appears, wet from head to toe. His beautiful blonde hair was dripping drops of water on the wooden floor. His icy blue eyes that looked so joyful, are now looking broken and gray. His lips, that used to appear as a smile, are now steely and cold.
I get up, looking with terror at the boy that I thought was my friend. The one that was the dearest to me of all.
“I told you not to come.” I say this line once again. The first time I have said it, I thought I was mean. But now it felt right to say those words. “You are not welcome here."
“I thought you liked it when I came in,” He starts talking, his deep voice still makes me melt. “You said the room lights when I just enter it."
“Now it is turning darker.” I say with hate in my voice.
He slams the door shut. “What are you saying? That I am not the boy you have always loved? The boy that you wanted more than anything?"
“ This was in the past. Now, it’s just some words put in a sentence that doesn't mean a thing.” I glance out the window which is wet from the rain. “Both of us know what really happened.”
“ And you think what happened doesn't mean anything?” He asks. “Our friendship was the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
“ Too bad you have ruined it.” I glance at him for once. This is a mistake. He looked so sad, so broken. But I keep reminding myself that it’s all his fault. It’s all because of him.
“ I thought you loved me.” He says with tears in his eyes.
“ I still do,” I admit. “But I can’t.”
“ Of course you can.” He catches my shoulders. “Nothing can hold you back from what you really feel."
“ But-"
He puts his finger over my lips. “Shhh, don’t say a word."
His eyes stare deep into mine. His finger runs from my lips and slide upwards to my eyes that tear.
“Please, I can’t do this.” I cry.
“I know it seems like a lie, but you have to believe me.” He whispers in my ear, his hot breath felt on my skin. His fingers touch my face gently, as his other hand slides through my long hair.
“It’s all a lie…” I whisper back, trying to catch his attention.
His eyes meet mine, making my heart want to jump out of my chest and dance with joy.
Slowly, his fingers run over my cheek, and get me closer to his face, and then his lips meet mine.
My eyes close, feeling his cold fingers grabbing my hair, while my hand slides over his wet body. The feeling of his lips on mine is so gentle. The touch of his fingers on my cheeks is like the softest touch I have ever felt.
I want more, I want to be with him like this forever, but he backs up. His beautiful blue eyes look at me with such pain. His warm breath is felt against my cold skin. “I am sorry.” He whispers with sadness.
“I told you not to come.” I warned him.
“I had to,” he says, running his fingers over my pale face over and over again, as if he is trying to remember how it feels. “If I didn't, I will never have had the chance to do it."
“So go,” I say, with tears in my eyes. “You were going to leave anyway."
"Please-"
"Just go." I say, trying to not look into his eyes and fall in that wonderful charm of his.
"I love you." He whispers at last, and kisses my lips for the last time. Then, he walks back, still looking at me, to try to remember my face before he leaves.
I try to hold back the tears, and look at my first love before it will be too late.
I see as he opens the door, and looks back at me, tears dripping down his eyes.
"I will never forget you..." He says.
Then the door closes behind him, and I let myself fall apart. I fall on the floor, crying salty tears that drop to the floor. The rain outside is stronger than ever, the lightning lighting the room with white light. I feel how my heart is breaking into pieces in my chest, and I know it could never be healed. I loved him, I love him, and I will love him for the rest of my life. But he is never going to know that. He is never going to come back.
I should’ve told him. I should’ve held him back, given him a reason to stay. But now, it’s too late.
He is never going to come back. I let him slip away.
By Almog Azoulay
Rain drops fall from the sky, like shimmering drops of silver, from the black clouds, from above. Wind howling like wolves at midnight. Lightning strikes as a flash, and the cold weather freezes me to my bones. I lie here, still as a statue, waiting for something to happen, someone to appear. I still remember the warmth. I still remember the happiness. I still remember the smiles, which have turned to torture, sadness, and days of crying over something that seems so sweet, yet so terrible. I remember when the sun used to shine on us, and the warmth of my heart was like nothing I have ever experienced before. As thoughts run through my head, thunder booms outside. My heart races with fear, as the door cracked open, and he appears, wet from head to toe. His beautiful blonde hair was dripping drops of water on the wooden floor. His icy blue eyes that looked so joyful, are now looking broken and gray. His lips, that used to appear as a smile, are now steely and cold.
I get up, looking with terror at the boy that I thought was my friend. The one that was the dearest to me of all.
“I told you not to come.” I say this line once again. The first time I have said it, I thought I was mean. But now it felt right to say those words. “You are not welcome here."
“I thought you liked it when I came in,” He starts talking, his deep voice still makes me melt. “You said the room lights when I just enter it."
“Now it is turning darker.” I say with hate in my voice.
He slams the door shut. “What are you saying? That I am not the boy you have always loved? The boy that you wanted more than anything?"
“ This was in the past. Now, it’s just some words put in a sentence that doesn't mean a thing.” I glance out the window which is wet from the rain. “Both of us know what really happened.”
“ And you think what happened doesn't mean anything?” He asks. “Our friendship was the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
“ Too bad you have ruined it.” I glance at him for once. This is a mistake. He looked so sad, so broken. But I keep reminding myself that it’s all his fault. It’s all because of him.
“ I thought you loved me.” He says with tears in his eyes.
“ I still do,” I admit. “But I can’t.”
“ Of course you can.” He catches my shoulders. “Nothing can hold you back from what you really feel."
“ But-"
He puts his finger over my lips. “Shhh, don’t say a word."
His eyes stare deep into mine. His finger runs from my lips and slide upwards to my eyes that tear.
“Please, I can’t do this.” I cry.
“I know it seems like a lie, but you have to believe me.” He whispers in my ear, his hot breath felt on my skin. His fingers touch my face gently, as his other hand slides through my long hair.
“It’s all a lie…” I whisper back, trying to catch his attention.
His eyes meet mine, making my heart want to jump out of my chest and dance with joy.
Slowly, his fingers run over my cheek, and get me closer to his face, and then his lips meet mine.
My eyes close, feeling his cold fingers grabbing my hair, while my hand slides over his wet body. The feeling of his lips on mine is so gentle. The touch of his fingers on my cheeks is like the softest touch I have ever felt.
I want more, I want to be with him like this forever, but he backs up. His beautiful blue eyes look at me with such pain. His warm breath is felt against my cold skin. “I am sorry.” He whispers with sadness.
“I told you not to come.” I warned him.
“I had to,” he says, running his fingers over my pale face over and over again, as if he is trying to remember how it feels. “If I didn't, I will never have had the chance to do it."
“So go,” I say, with tears in my eyes. “You were going to leave anyway."
"Please-"
"Just go." I say, trying to not look into his eyes and fall in that wonderful charm of his.
"I love you." He whispers at last, and kisses my lips for the last time. Then, he walks back, still looking at me, to try to remember my face before he leaves.
I try to hold back the tears, and look at my first love before it will be too late.
I see as he opens the door, and looks back at me, tears dripping down his eyes.
"I will never forget you..." He says.
Then the door closes behind him, and I let myself fall apart. I fall on the floor, crying salty tears that drop to the floor. The rain outside is stronger than ever, the lightning lighting the room with white light. I feel how my heart is breaking into pieces in my chest, and I know it could never be healed. I loved him, I love him, and I will love him for the rest of my life. But he is never going to know that. He is never going to come back.
I should’ve told him. I should’ve held him back, given him a reason to stay. But now, it’s too late.
He is never going to come back. I let him slip away.